The Beloved

The Beloved came unto me
He spoke not a word
But what we shared was greater far
   and deeper, than words

I could speak naught but his name
I was in love with him but could not express it

He drew me into his embrace
And I was his
My individuality
Independence
Self-will
Free choice
All like dirty clothes
Were stripped away

This fixation on life
The fear of death
The desire to be
To achieve
To matter
It all melted away
In this moment of nakedness

He was life
He was desire
And I was in his arms

He left me, as he usually does
And all such earthly things came back
   slowly, greyishly
Like the dawning of a drizzly day
He left only a longing in me
He left in me the imprint of him

A deeper sense of separation, my love!
Why then did you come unto me?
To give one sip to a traveler lost in the desert?
I can't understand you, my dear

Why do you neither give your full presence
Nor take it away?
Do you taunt me?
Do you make me dance the dance of love unrequited?
What a bitter dance

Or do you feel the same?
The pain of separation
Of this something which severs us from each other
Makes us wonder in the back of our head
   if indeed the whole affair really took place
If we are real, or a dream one to another

A figure remains in my mind
I see the day when breath expires
When brain and flesh finally rest
When flies the soul
That day is called "THE RETURN"

I see me saying
"My love, I have been away for so long
I was lost and couldn't find my way back"

And I see you saying
"You have been gone for so long
I have longed for you every day of the journey
But now you are home
Come, leave no more"

That is the day of our marriage
I see it, and don't know if it's real
But I see it, and it lives inside of me

My words! I chew on my tongue
But still they don't come
The words to say what is between us
To say what your love is
My dear, I can't say it
My Beloved, I can only say your name
I can only say your name

Breath

Mankind is more than he imagines himself to be

The ancient serpent only lied when he said

Ye shall be as gods

In the word shall

For godhood is entrenched in each spirit

Like the hidden roots of an old tree

What we see is a twisted, frail form

What exists is a vast and encompassing network

Of vitality, senses, powers, knowledge

Man is not who he imagines himself to be

Though most are unaware of this

And blissfully or tragically so

The iceberg conceals its mass under the surface

But how can we know?

How can the eye look upon itself?

How can thought discern thought?

The mind contain the mind?

There was a verse of extraordinary depth

And my master said, explain this verse,

But use only the words of the verse

I could not speak

He said, now pour me some wine,

But see that the wine encompass the glass

He touched my face and said,

Touch my touch

But as soon as I tried, it was gone

He took me to where the roses grow

And said, pick me one that both gives fragrance

And smells it

He said, why are you so quiet?

I said, You ask me that which cannot be answered

To some questions, he sighed

Silence is the only honest answer

Some prayers must consist only of breath

And some things can be understood without being explained

Some children will play a game they do not know the rules to

And some will dance without hearing the music

They will make a path without ever having seen a map

And will love even if they never heard the word

We are, my son, far more than we think we are

Our soul is the eagle over the mountains

While the mind trudges through a forest of words

Be silent that a path may be cleared

And the trudging mind may find its way

I said, shall we never know ourselves?

He said, there is a way

For the eye to understand sight

For the rose to understand fragrance

For the wine to encompass the goblet

Tell me Master

I am tired, he said

But he told me

For the soul to understand itself it must look upon God

Meditate upon God and you will understand who you are

But you taught me that God is incomprehensible

So I did, and it is true

And he slept

And for a long time I was quiet

Breathing, just breathing